Marriages are the coming together of two people and should be considered not just a union but a partnership as well. While this can mean different things to different people, it generally boils down to cooperation, collaboration and mutual support between the two partners.
This is true for most things, ranging from dividing chores to splitting the household income, or deciding who gets to use the car on which days to whose family to spend the holidays with. A bond of marriage implicitly suggests the two individuals involved have taken a vow to be there for one another, through thick and thin, in sickness and in health.
For one man, this vow was tested when he felt at his worst, physically. While down with the flu, a series of decisions taken by his wife caused him to second guess whether their partnership was something he could rely on. To gauge whether his feelings were legitimate, he took to Reddit to recount his experience and seek feedback from the community.
On Oct. 18, 2022, he recounted his ordeal with his wife on the r/AITA board, starting with a little personal background information that involved his wife’s disconcerting relationship with her sister-in-law (SIL), the wife of her brother.
“I (M36) and my wife (F35) have a 3-year-old daughter. I have long-standing issues with my wife’s SIL, because I think that my wife constantly panders to her, and caters to her every whim, often at the expense of me and my daughter. Recently we had a huge fight about her saying something offensive to me in a public setting in defense of SIL, at our daughter’s expense, and up until this point she has tried to do better,” he wrote.
The man went on to explain the latest incident involving his wife and her sister-in-law that rattled him to his core.
“We’ve both been floored with flu for the past 10 days or so,” he wrote, adding at the start, his wife “had it slightly worse than me, so I’ve been tagged in to do all chores, childcare and cooking while she’s tried to get as much rest as possible.”
While his wife started to feel better, he did not. While still not feeling his best, she planned something he was definitely not up for.
“Today my wife woke up at around 915 AM (I’d been up since 630 with daughter), and said she was feeling a bit better. I said that’s great, and maybe she could hold the fort while I went for a nap? She said that what she was ACTUALLY thinking, was inviting SILs youngest round for a playdate, to keep our daughter occupied,” he wrote.
“I said that I really wasn’t feeling up to it today. My wife said that I wouldn’t have to do anything to entertain them (to which I was skeptical about), so I agreed,” he added.
Unfortunately, his skepticism was justified.
“So about 15 minutes after she arrives, I’m asked to get them drinks and snacks, and then play games and occupy them,” he wrote. Frustrated by the situation, he left.
“After about 2 hours, I told my wife that I was going up to my mum’s house to get sleep. The whole way up, she was phoning and texting me, absolutely furious that I’d left her to deal with it. … I know it’s s****y leaving her while she’s sick to deal with two toddlers, but after so long holding the ball, I’ve reached my limit,” he wrote.
In the comments, Redditors were quick to take the wife to task over what they described as her inconsiderate behavior.
“Why is your wife making playdates when you’re both still over the flu? Bad judgment there. As your spouse, she should’ve been more interested in you getting some rest and feeling energetic before arranging any play dates. She even gave you permission to disengage, but then asks you to come wait on them? She should have stuck to what she told you, and taken care of them herself,” one user wrote.
Another said: “She’s taking you for granted, and your SIL obviously doesn’t care about you. You need rest. Re-evaluate your situation and relationship once you get better. Set boundaries and try to get to the bottom of why your wife acts the way she does with SIL. You and your daughter should be your wife’s priority.”
Many were also left fuming over why the wife had invited children over when there were sick people in the house.
“Who brings their kid for a play date to a house FULL of sick people? Why would anyone invite another child in (probably full of another set of germs) to a house full of sick people??” one comment read.
“Why is someone being invited over for a playdate if there’s still flu in the house…? Even from a recovery POV, toddlers are tiny germ landmines, so this was a really inadvisable idea,” another user wrote.
Some users advised the man to seek couple’s therapy, to which he responded in a pretty despondent way.
“That definitely might need to be the next step. That, or divorce anyway.”
What do you think of the incident? Was the husband wrong to leave his wife alone with the children to take a nap at his parent’s place? Let us know your thoughts and be sure to pass this on to friends and family to get their point of view, too.
